05-30-2010, 08:14 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
Long story short; I'm taking my leave from... well, the internet as a whole. I logged on less than three dozen times, and only spoke to a handful of people, but I figure I may as well post an explanation for the morbidly curious.
I'm 18; and this year I'm doing my Leaving Certificate. I'm the equivalent of an American Senior in High School (I'm Irish; I'm in 'Secondary' School). We don't have the GPA here; only a set of exams for 2 weeks straight that determine our finishing results after 6 years of study.
Problem being is that those 6 years were basically pissed away for reasons unknown to me before Decemberr. I've always had issues with school out of principle alone; it's all academics, no practical work, and sheer repetitive memory strain. You don't need to be smart to be educated, you just need to remember facts and terms for good scores.
I finally ended up cracking earlier this year, and ended up explaining why to my school's guidance counsellor. I ended up getting a psychological assessment, and it turns out all my life I've been both Dyslexic & Dysgraphic, and that my mind processes information in a particular way, which is what made it hard for me to study.
Dysgraphia, to put it simply, is being writing-handicapped. Since school's all practical work, I was getting distressed at physically being incapable of writing as fast or as clear as other people. I couldn't even read my own previously written notes; the only reason I can read my own writing at all is because sometimes the memory of what I was trying to actually write was still fresh in my mind.
I live a remorseless and regretless life because of the way I view myself; time is relative, but the world still runs on a 24 hour clock. Even if I'm indifferent about my past and are happier about a lot of things now than before, it's still 6 years that went entirely down the shitter.
I'm probably going to have to repeat my exams next year... but my first attempt is coming up in 2 weeks time. As such, I am cutting myself off from any kind of communities on the internet, as they are time investments, and I spend too much time talking to people. All my time on the computer from this stage on will be studying or programming; I'm even reformatting to a Linux distro so I can't play any games should my self-control fail.
So... yeah. I might be back someday, maybe not. I'll probably be a lot more knowledgable about RO/eAthena as a whole by then, not that it really helps. I've always been more of a talker than a practical worker here on heRO, but that's because I'm more used to running servers than contributing to them. For the past few years I've been heavily involved with the few roleplaying servers that exist for Ragnarok Online, but few venture from one side of the spectrum to the other, so I doubt anyone would've seen me.
Sl?n, heRO! I learned quite a lot from the forum community, as well as the few I spoke to ingame and on MSN.
Long story short; I'm taking my leave from... well, the internet as a whole. I logged on less than three dozen times, and only spoke to a handful of people, but I figure I may as well post an explanation for the morbidly curious.
I'm 18; and this year I'm doing my Leaving Certificate. I'm the equivalent of an American Senior in High School (I'm Irish; I'm in 'Secondary' School). We don't have the GPA here; only a set of exams for 2 weeks straight that determine our finishing results after 6 years of study.
Problem being is that those 6 years were basically pissed away for reasons unknown to me before Decemberr. I've always had issues with school out of principle alone; it's all academics, no practical work, and sheer repetitive memory strain. You don't need to be smart to be educated, you just need to remember facts and terms for good scores.
I finally ended up cracking earlier this year, and ended up explaining why to my school's guidance counsellor. I ended up getting a psychological assessment, and it turns out all my life I've been both Dyslexic & Dysgraphic, and that my mind processes information in a particular way, which is what made it hard for me to study.
Dysgraphia, to put it simply, is being writing-handicapped. Since school's all practical work, I was getting distressed at physically being incapable of writing as fast or as clear as other people. I couldn't even read my own previously written notes; the only reason I can read my own writing at all is because sometimes the memory of what I was trying to actually write was still fresh in my mind.
I live a remorseless and regretless life because of the way I view myself; time is relative, but the world still runs on a 24 hour clock. Even if I'm indifferent about my past and are happier about a lot of things now than before, it's still 6 years that went entirely down the shitter.
I'm probably going to have to repeat my exams next year... but my first attempt is coming up in 2 weeks time. As such, I am cutting myself off from any kind of communities on the internet, as they are time investments, and I spend too much time talking to people. All my time on the computer from this stage on will be studying or programming; I'm even reformatting to a Linux distro so I can't play any games should my self-control fail.
So... yeah. I might be back someday, maybe not. I'll probably be a lot more knowledgable about RO/eAthena as a whole by then, not that it really helps. I've always been more of a talker than a practical worker here on heRO, but that's because I'm more used to running servers than contributing to them. For the past few years I've been heavily involved with the few roleplaying servers that exist for Ragnarok Online, but few venture from one side of the spectrum to the other, so I doubt anyone would've seen me.
Sl?n, heRO! I learned quite a lot from the forum community, as well as the few I spoke to ingame and on MSN.
