*cacophonous screech*

[Scaregasm]

Yeah, I really should have chosen Ramadan, huh???:/

I was just thinking today on my way out to the forest (we close early on weeknights.??So I'm home now) about expounding on the chef's knife smooth talker scenario.

you go to the forest expecting people in masks and that is what you get except for one spot...

There's a guy there.??Dressed normally, he doesn't seem to work here.??There's no mask, no face paint, no visible weapon.

I forget the dialog I had in my head but it was something totally nonchalant from the side of "the guy".

Something to the effect of him chatting them up and being a really nice guy who just likes to come out into the forest to clear his head (there is a property on the opposite side of the forest I could mention him living in).??But as he talks the chat just gets creepier until he produces a chef's knife and kind of begins to caress the blade and talk about how out in the forest you're supposed to scream.??"So, someone screaming like they were being murdered would be completely natural and no one would think anything was going on... As a matter of fact, not screaming would raise alarms and you haven't screamed in a minute or two... I think some people might be getting suspicious... But, hey, maybe you guys decided to stop in the middle of the path and makeout or something.??You wouldn't be the first to "conquer" the forest.??heh

"Yeah... maybe you just slipped off the path to get your rocks off and then were never heard from again... There's coyotes out here... The recent residential boom in the area has destroyed a lot of their land... I bet they're really hungry... Hungry enough, perhaps, to attack a human???Drag it back to their den and feed their cubs???I bet no remains would ever be found.??I'm sorry, are you crying???Why are you crying???We're just talking here..." and so on.

I had a perfect script in my head, but that was earlier... before I got off work... before 1am.??lol

I bet it'll come back to me tomorrow.??Oh, it was awesome.??lol


Maybe I could pull a "Dexter's in a hurry" and go with the, "Normally I'd have a speech prepared and instill fear in you, but I really have to get going so I'm just going to have to skip right to watching you die.??I'm sorry.??I bet I really would have enjoyed our time together, but I'm in a rush."??lol